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gelbes_gilatierFandom: Stargate
Rating: T
Genres: drama, action
Summary: Apocafic/AU - Evan Lorne learns that a wounded team mate is one thing... but a wounded girlfriend quite another.
A/N: Aaand... here we go with part #3. When I wrote it I wasn't such a big fan of it but it's a kind of transition story and I was never a big fan of those. I still hope, though, that you like it ;) (also, yes, not betaed)
( Shards Instead of Glass )
( Find Peace Tonight )
Pandora’s Box: What You Call Hell
„Ich habe keine Zeit zu bluten
Und ich hab keinen Platz für Wunden
Während ihr die Schmerzen sucht
Hab ich Glück gefunden
Ich bin ständig auf der Hut
Und ich mache selten Pause
Das, was ihr die Hölle nennt
Nenn ich mein Zuhause.“
Olli Schulz & der Hund Marie, „Keine Zeit zu bluten“
It was a bad idea. No… it was a terribly stupid idea that will very likely end in horrible consequences. So horrible that he doesn’t even want to think about them. But then again, he shouldn’t do that anyway, being in the middle of combat and all that.
“Evan, we need to get going. She won’t hold up much longer.” Dammit, he didn’t want to know that… but yeah, Doc’s just doing her job. No need to get into her face for telling him how bad her patient is. Even if it’s Laura.
So instead he just nods and signals Miko and Dhati to get ready for the final leg of their extraction from the building they had planned to infiltrate. The women get their weapons – a ragtag mixture of Pegasus weapons and good old P90s and Berettas – ready and by his side, Doc just finished slapping a bandage on the wound on Laura’s arm and patching her up as good as she can under fire and with very limited supplies.
Laura doesn’t say anything; just grits her teeth and looks like she just had had to choke back something dirty. Okay… okay, that’s a good thing, right? As long as she’s still conscious and pissed off enough that she has to bite back curses, she’s fine. It’s nothing, he tries to tell himself, nothing they haven’t gone through before. Except… except that the bandage Doc slapped on her arm just a few moments ago is starting to turn dark red again and that she’s growing paler beneath the grime and sweat of battle.
No, not the right moment to think about this. Not the right moment either for the strong urge to take Laura in his arms and shield her with his body and just make a dash for the ‘Gate because his team depends on him and because… because there’s no way he could carry her or run for only a few feet, considering that running without any additional burden is somewhat of a challenge for him, even with the makeshift brace Doc fashioned for him a while ago.
The human allies of the Replicators they had originally planned to strategically wound guerrilla style with a surgical strike into the heart of one of their communication centers are advancing to their position and it’s really time they get out of the building. He looks at Doc again and she nods, looking grim but he decides that this is just because of their generally screwed up situation, not because of Laura’s condition. Another look at Laura… who just closes her eyes, takes a labored breath and nods as well.
Okay, fine… he gestures for Jorgenson who moves to take Laura up at his signal, then gets in position to give him cover for the extraction while Doc readies her Genii version of a side arm. So… one… two… three… “Go, go, go!”
Jorgenson takes up Laura and jumps up, running for his – and her – dear life. Doc is next, then Miko, then Dhati and he takes six. It’s the one thing he never let them talk him out of; no matter how banged up he is, he’ll always be the first one in and the last one out. So he half-runs, half-limps behind the rest of the team, trying to dodge bullets from behind and give their pursuers some lead – or the Pegasus version of it anyway – to choke on.
One of the bullets grazes his arm but he doesn’t really notice it because all he can think of now is to keep up with the team, not slow them down and get Laura to safety. On first glance the wound hadn't looked particularly life-threatening but then Laura had almost collapsed and Doc had discovered another bullet lodged in her back, right in the middle of her right shoulder blade. It had looked messy and he’d suddenly first felt his heart miss a beat and then dread pool in his stomach, so heavy that it almost made him sick.
Of course they’d had other situations where things had looked messy – that scar on her face isn’t some kind of fancy beauty ornament, after all – but that had been before… before. Back then, he’d been able to tell himself that he was just feeling concerned for a team mate but now… now that they’re not just team mates anymore it’s something completely different.
Now concern for Laura mingles openly with the fear for his own life and the responsibility for the team and he’s constantly afraid that this concern will hamper his ability to care about the whole team and be a leader instead of a lover. And… and goddammit was it really asked too much that at least something about this raid would go right? At least their retreat could have gone off just a bit better, seeing as retreating was practically all they’d done that past year.
But no, they have to fight their way to the ‘Gate and if it hadn't been for Miko looking back – against his orders, yet again… must be Laura’s bad influence – he’d have been toast just a few moments ago. But because she’d seen him stumble over some rock, she’d turned around, rushed over to him and done her best to haul him up and drag him along, even though she’s shorter and more than a few pounds lighter than he is.
He’d really like to give her a few choice words for disobeying his orders but yeah… he really needs his breath for other things right now. Like, for example, making that last step through the ‘Gate that will hopefully bring them to relative safety. Just another step, just another…
Three jumps later, it starts to dawn on him that they might have a problem that can’t be solved with just a little wormhole hop to another planet because instead of simply running down the ‘Gate ramp, dialing the next planet and doing another jump, Doc uses her right to veto and orders them to take a break so that she can have a look at Laura again.
Following her gestures, Jorgenson sets Laura down beside the DHD and Doc starts to unravel the bandage around her arm. He can see that she tries to keep her face impassive but after a year of spending practically every minute with them, he knows every one of his people inside out – well, okay, not completely, but mostly – and it’s pretty easy to see that Doc is not happy with Laura’s condition.
Usually, she doesn’t like people hovering around and asking too many question but… but this is Laura and maybe she’ll understand if he does it now, seeing as everyone knows what’s going on anyway, even if Laura and he try to keep it down to a minimum when being around the others.
Making a point of not looking at Dhati, Miko or Jorgenson, he walks over to where Doc is crouching in front of Laura but before he can even open his mouth, she looks up and silently gestures for him to come closer. Uh-oh. Not good. Forcing himself to breathe normal and look his usual stoic self, he takes the last few steps and then takes the pain to get down where Doc is sitting. She takes a deep breath. “We can’t keep jumping around. I need to get her to a civilized planet now or she’ll be in serious trouble.”
That would go against standard operating procedure and she knows it. Early on, they’d calculated that they needed a minimum of six jumps to make sure they really shook off their pursuers. But then again… it wouldn’t be the first time they went against that SOP and it wouldn’t even be the first time they could actually get away with it. They managed that before… but the people they’d tried to attack today were fairly advanced and they probably already alarmed their Replicator allies… Laura stirs and opens her eyes.
“I… was in serious trouble… the moment… I signed up for the Marines,” she says and adds a weak grin. “I think… I think I can handle three more jumps.” Oh crap. Why did she have to do that? Why did she have to make a stupid joke and why did she have to grin and why did she have take away all his words and his breath with just that?
Thankfully, he doesn’t have to actually say something because Doc is faster anyway. “Maybe, but I don’t think you could handle it. And no, this is not the moment to doubt my compet…”
She never gets to finish her sentence, though, because suddenly a red laser beam cuts through the air and nearly slams full force into Dhati. Immediately, Dhati, Miko and Jorgenson duck for cover and he moves to shield both Doc and Laura from whoever just attacked them.
He reaches up to dial the DHD but another laser beam zooms past, this time much too close for comfort to him and there’s also a volley of bullets that miss them only by inches. Dammit. Last time they checked this planet was uninhabited. No one was supposed to be here. No Replicators, no human allies, no mercs… wait. Maybe… maybe they were lucky, just for once. Yeah, it’s worth a tr… “Go back to where you came from, whoever you are.”
Holy… was that a Texas twang he just heard? He turns around to Doc and she smirks. Apparently, he wasn’t the only one with that thought. And then she surprises him. “Shut the hell up, Bunny, and get your lazy hillbilly ass over here. I’ve got work for you.” What the… and then he remembers the male nurse everyone called Bunny for some reason no one ever explained to him and… and he can’t believe they managed find another group of survivors… after an entire goddamn year.
“Dr. Cole?” Apparently, Bunny can’t believe it either. But at least his professional reflexes – or maybe his respect for Doc – seem to be intact enough that he doesn’t launch into a long time no see conversation first but jumps up to come running over to them. Only to be followed by… Ronon?
For a moment, seeing the big guy perplexes him enough that he just stays where he is and actually stares. Then Ronon seems to have noticed him and… looks almost equally surprised. “Lorne? That you?”
He just nods and tries to get up at least half-dignified. When it doesn’t really work, Ronon simply extends a hand to him and does him the favor of not even raising an eyebrow to inquire where his agility went to in the last year. Then Ronon’s gaze falls on Laura and he even goes as far as frowning. “Is that…”
“Lieutenant Cadman, yes. And she needs immediate medical attention, Ronon.” Dammit, Doc really isn't happy about Laura’s condition and that makes him almost reach out for the DHD to steady himself.
By now, the rest of his team left their cover as well and two more former members of Atlantis’ crew – Davidson, one of the guys of the control room gang and a Marine Sergeant going by the name of Meyers – left the hiding place they’d used for cover when they were firing on them. Ronon takes another look at Laura and then simply nods and takes out something that looks like a… radio? Wow. Whoever is leading Ronon’s group… “Sheppard, this is Ronon. We’re bringing guests. Tell Jennifer to get prepped for an emergency patient.”
Holy crap. They actually managed to stumble over Colonel Sheppard’s group? And Jennifer… wouldn’t be Jennifer Keller, right? The whole thing hits him so hard that he doesn’t even get the rest of the short conversation between Ronon and Sheppard. Still a little bewildered he watches Ronon picking up Laura and leading the little trek back to wherever his group has their hide out in the forest surrounding the ‘Gate.
On the way to wherever Sheppard’s camp is, he manages to exchange glances with his team mates and thank God they look as confounded as he feels. Then they reach a clearing that looks absolutely empty… and Ronon suddenly disappears. What the… “Cloaking technology, sir,” a voice helpfully supplies and he looks to his right side to see Sergeant Meyers giving him a reassuring nod… and adding, with a strange undertone, “Farewell gift from Dr. McKay, sir.”
Right… no, he doesn’t want to ponder what exactly that means now. So he just follows Meyers when he takes a few more steps into the clearing… and suddenly he’s in the middle of busyness. People walking around or sitting on tables, working on weapons, stirring pots over a campfire… “Meyers, Bunny, medical tent. ASAP. And someone bring me some of that moonshine LaCroix was trying to botch together.”
What the… oh, hey, if that isn't Jennifer Keller that just came out of one the tents in the middle of the camp. However… if it hadn't been for the messed up blond ponytail and her voice he might never have recognized her, what with the… attitude and everything. “Dammit, Ronon! You can’t just dump a patient on my table and… oh, Major Lorne.” For just a short moment… the Jennifer Keller he used to know shows in the surprise and relief in her eyes but then it’s gone and she just looks so different again.
Still, he wants to answer her, at least smile or something like that but something – probably a mix of overwhelming concern for Laura, fatigue setting in, confusion increasing… and a million other things – keeps him from it. And apparently, she’s not interested in chit-chat anyway. “You’re with me. We’re out of sedatives and I need to remove two bullets from Cadman’s body. I need every help I can get.”
She didn’t… just recruit him for surgery, right? Because he’s really not sure if he can stomach that. He’s not squeamish but the thought of having to be there and see Laura suffering even more makes him downright sick. But… Keller doesn’t even wait for his answer, just starts walking back to the tent, like she expects him to follow her.
For a moment, he contemplates simply not doing it but has a feeling that this version of Dr. Keller won’t take no for an answer… and anyway, he couldn’t keep his team from executing that raid, so it’s partly his fault that Laura’s lying on a table in a tent, about to get surgery with no anesthesia whatsoever and he owes it to her that he’s at least there for her.
Gritting his teeth, he finally starts limping up to Keller, determined to keep believing that she and Doc will be able to save Laura, no matter how primitive the circumstances. Once upon a time, those doctors were part of a team that was probably the best in two galaxies and that should count for something, shouldn’t it?
“I don’t have time for bleeding
And I don’t have room for wounds
While you’re looking for pain
I found happiness
I’m always on guard
And I seldom take a break
What you call hell
I call my home.”
~*~
TBC in It's Never Like That in Reality.
