Fic: Protect and Survive I: Might Just Save Your Life (Epilogue)

[gelbes_gilatier]

Title: Protect and Survive I: Might Just Save Your Life (Epilogue)
Fandom: Stargate
Rating: K+
Genres: action/adventure, drama
Summary: Laura Cadman thought she came back to Atlantis for Carson Beckett... but things aren't really happening as planned, thanks to our favorite Major, Evan Lorne.
A/N: Phew... first part part of the Protect and Survive series is finally finished. Down at the bottom of the epilogue you'll find that there's a already a TBC link. It's one of my stories for fanfic100 but also belongs in the PAS verse and kind of prepares the ground for the next multichapter story. So... if you haven't read it yet, maybe read it now?

 

( Might Just Save Your Life Prologue )

( Might Just Save Your Life 1/8 )

( Might Just Save Your Life 2/8 )

( Might Just Save Your Life 3/8 )

( Might Just Save Your Life 4/8 )

( Might Just Save Your Life 5/8 )

( Might Just Save Your Life 6/8 )

( Might Just Save Your Life 7/8 )

( Might Just Save Your Life 8/8 )

Epilogue

“The power of love is a curious thing
Make a one man weep, make another man sing.” 

Huey Lewis & the News, “Power of Love”

It’s about midday, when Carson finally comes to her to give her a last check-up and then release her. What irritates her, though, is that he’s unusually curt with her. Well, not exactly… curt, but not quite as affectionate as he used to be those last two weeks. Just a little more professional, just a little less… special. And a little absentminded. Something’s bugging him and she’s determined to find out what it is.

“Carson, is something bothering you?” she asks after putting on her uniform – which cost her a considerable amount of time because her right arm is still a little stiff – and he’s busy looking anywhere but her all of a sudden.

He takes his time answering her. In the end he says, “Laura… if you feel that maybe… we would be better off as friends and if there’s any other man that would be better suited for you… don’t be afraid to tell me.” She eyes him skeptically. What is he trying to tell her?

“Carson…” He looks away again, to avoid that she sees the hurt in his eyes but she still catches a glimpse of it. It confuses her even more.

“Major Lorne said to immediately inform him of any changes. I’m sure he’ll be happy if you tell him the good news of your discharge yourself.” What the… why is he talking about Evan all of a sudden?

“Carson, I have no idea, what…” This time he looks her straight in the face. She can see both hurt and determination in his eyes and she starts to realize what the problem might be but before she can deny any romantic feelings for Evan Lorne – her CO, for Heaven’s sake – he speaks up again.

“I’m sure he can be found on one of the balconies. You better make up your mind fast, love.” She knows he’s talking about far more than just the decision whether she should tell Evan she’s okay again or Carson. But she refuses to let herself be forced into a decision she didn’t even know she had to make until a few minutes ago.

“Look, Carson…” He shakes his head and she recognizes the look in his eyes. It’s the same look he wears whenever one of his patients doesn’t listen to his orders and she realizes that there will be no more arguing about this. Defeated, she sighs and gets up to go looking for Evan. Hopefully, he’ll not make such a fuss.

So she goes prowling the city for Evan. She knows she could radio him and ask him where he is or ask one of the technicians in the ‘Gate Control Room but first she wants to surprise him and second she doesn’t want to get the rumor mill in overdrive again. And apart from that… she needs this time of walking around, as much for stretching her legs as for doing a little thinking.

She’s a little mad at Carson, she realizes. What gives him the right to cut her short like this, even having patronizing tendencies? And how did this stupid idea about her and Evan get stuck in his head? Okay, so Evan has spent quite some time at her side in the infirmary during the last two weeks. But honestly, so have other people, Carson included. In fact, Carson got much more time with her, just out of the simple reason that Evan had been on at least three overnight off-world missions in the past two weeks.

However, this just might be an explanation for the strange behavior between the two of them she witnessed. She’d attributed it to Carson being mad at Evan for getting her in trouble but to her it still doesn’t make sense. Carson knows she’s a Marine and getting in trouble is part of her job description. No, obviously Carson is jealous, which makes her snort. Ridiculous. As if anything would ever happen between her and Evan.

Apart from the fact that he’s just a friend and has never shown any signs of wanting to change it – she chooses to deliberately overlook all these little inconsistencies and awkward moments that have happened between the two of them ever since she came back to Atlantis – he’s her superior and as lax as military protocol might be on Atlantis: dating your CO is still not exactly encouraged by the brass.

And anyway, it’s not like she wants to date him or anything, right? So, yes, he’s attractive, kind, dutiful, witty… but whoever said women could only be friends with ugly, dull guys, huh? No, Carson is wrong and it irks her that he would think she’d deceive him or hold such important things as “Hey, you know, I think I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re just not the guy I want to hook up with. Instead I’ll just go for my superior, even if that might ruin my career,” back from him.

So… as much as she doesn’t want to, obviously they need to have some rather explicit chat about trust and friendship before they can finally hit it off. She isn’t exactly looking forward to this but it’s probably better to clear those things before they find themselves in the middle of a mess they don’t know how to get out because too much emotions are involved. Well, she thinks and smirks to herself, thinking before acting… that would be a first for you.

Anyway… after a few unsuccessful tries she finally finds the balcony to which Evan retreated today. As she had guessed, he sits on the floor, with his back to the wall and has a sketch book in his hand and is working on some pencil sketch. She knows that he tends to get engrossed too much in his sketching and painting, so she carefully approaches him as not to startle him.

“Hey, what are you hiding from?”, she asks and despite her careful approach, he jumps a little and nearly loses the sketching pad.

“Geez, Laura, you just scared the living daylights out of me.” Evan Lorne, scared? It sounds as unlikely as Evan Lorne getting drunk but she remembers them already cleaning up this fact in a particular late-night conversation a few weeks back.

“Sorry. Just wanted to tell you that I’m okay again. So… here I am.” He looks up at her and smiles. The dimples make her heart flutter a bit but she attributes it to the fact that they make lots of hearts flutter.

“It’s good to see you up again, Laura. People like you… they don’t belong into hospital beds.” She raises an eyebrow.

“People like me, huh?” He rubs his neck.

“Yeah, well, you know…” She wonders what significant, deep stuff will come now. “White doesn’t look too good on you.” A wide grin appears on his face, as she rolls her eyes and nudges him with her foot.

“You can be such an idiot, Evan Lorne.” For a second or two his face darkens and makes her wonder what exactly she just did wrong – well, apart from being insolent to her superior, of course – but as soon as they came, the clouds are gone again.

“What, I get called names for telling you the truth? Is that how you treat your friends now?” She crouches down beside him, because she’s nice enough that she doesn’t want him to have to crane his neck all the time.

“Only those who mistake insult for truth.” To accentuate her point, she pokes him in the shoulder and he feigns hurt.

“Ouch. Anyway… did the Doc tell you when you are fit for full duty again?” Now her face darkens a little, as much because he mentioned Carson – whom she still hasn’t quite forgiven for the little argument in the infirmary – as because of what Carson told her about going on duty again.

“Yeah. At least another two weeks. I tried to beat him down to a week but he just wouldn’t let me.” She tries to ban everything petulant and snappy from her voice but as always it doesn’t work quite as well as she wants it to.

Evan, though, just gives her an encouraging half-smile and squeezes her good shoulder. “Don’t fret. We’ll sort it out. I’m sure the Doc knew what he was doing when he wouldn’t let you go back to full duty in the next two weeks.” She pulls a face at him mentioning Carson, and obviously that triggers something in him. “Laura… is everything okay between the Doc and you?”

She’d love to tell him about this strange argument they’d just had or Carson’s ridiculous assumptions about the both of them or her wonderings about this strange tensions between him and Carson but she feels like she’d better not touch all of this, at least not just yet. “No, everything’s okay. We just… couldn’t find a spot for another fishing trip is all. Anyway… what have you been working on here?”

“Oh, nothing. Just some doodling, nothing really interesting.” But the way he suddenly covers his open sketchbook suggests otherwise and immediately piques her interest.

“Aw, come on. Let me see it. It’s been a while since I saw any of your work.” In fact, the last time he showed her something – only after long days of prodding and cajoling, like always – was before she even came back to Atlantis.

“No, honestly, it’s not… Laura!” Not waiting for his approval she has reached out for the sketchbook and snatched it from his hand. Really, sometimes he can be such a diva about his drawing. But as she starts looking at the latest sketches, he has grown very, very quiet, and after leafing back a page, she understands why.

At least three or four pages contain portraits, half-profiles, rough sketches… of her. Most of them are just drawn with a few hurried strokes, but two or three are very elaborate, showing that he took his time finishing them. She sees herself in various positions, laughing, thoughtfully staring off into space, deep in concentration over some problem or other… Still not quite ready to understand, she looks up at him again. His slightly helpless shrug and apologetic look are all the confirmation she needs and it finally dawns on her that she might have a problem on her hands she has no idea how to solve. And that Carson had seen the signs so much earlier than she had, obviously.

Suddenly, a powerful need to be away from all of this – Carson, Evan, dating, friendship, men in general – surges through her and she gets up abruptly but never letting go of the sketchbook. Without another word, she leaves the balcony, ignoring his faint call of “Laura, wait!” on the run from all this complicated emotional stuff. This really hadn’t been on her agenda when returning to Atlantis, and she is scared.

Scared by what the drawings suggested, by what she’d seen in Evan’s eyes so often, by what she felt every time she saw him entering her room in the infirmary… She’s got a problem and now she can’t even talk about it with her best friend because the stupid idiot had to go and fall in love with her. Her world is suddenly falling to pieces and there’s no one left to pick them up now.

Suddenly, she’s not even that irritated about being on light duty for the next two weeks any more. In fact, it gives her the perfect excuse to bury herself in her quarters as often as she can and avoid running into either Carson or Evan. Which is exactly what she will do after having found Colonel Sheppard and reported for duty. Let the guys sort it out among themselves. She is out of the game, for the time being.

~*~

TBC in Same Old Song.