Fic: Go On

Dec. 1st, 2011 12:06 am
gelbes_gilatier: (Parker/Eliot)
[personal profile] gelbes_gilatier
Title: Go On
Fandom: Leverage
Rating: K+
Genres: gen
Recipient: [livejournal.com profile] abvj
Prompt: Leverage, Parker, like a blister in the sun
Summary: You know you can't stay at Archie's. Pre-series.
A/N: So. Holiday Fic Request Meme, here we go. First piece was requested by [livejournal.com profile] abvj and she threw me a real tough cookie with her prompt. I actually agonized a while over this because, you know, it's the first one and I'd wanted to have at least this one finished to post it on schedule (so far, I have 11 finished and am trying hard to finish a twelvth. I'm still determined to finish them all on time but I'm making no promises. Deal?). This fic only came to you because [livejournal.com profile] mackenziesmomma pushed me in the right direction. Just saying.

Go On
 
“Let me go on, like a blister in the sun
Let me go on, big hands I know you're the one.”

 
Violent Femmes, “Blister in the Sun”
 
You always knew the day would come. The day Archie took you in after years in the system, you knew the day would come you’d leave again. It’s always been the way of things for you, and you never even got it in your head to question it. You’re not questioning it now.
 
You felt it, two weeks ago. You felt that it was time to leave again, just like you did all those times before. Sometimes you knew it was something you did or said, sometimes you didn’t know what it was and sometimes you wanted to leave so badly, you didn’t care what you had to do to get away the soonest you could. You ran away a couple of times, only for the system to catch you again. Those were the worst times.
 
You’re grateful to Archie. He was the one who taught you not to get caught, ever again. He gave you your freedom, in a way. When he took you in, you were old enough to know that he was using you, grooming you, because he knew he couldn’t always con people and steal things. Because he had a family he didn’t want to get involved with what he did for a living. You never resented him for it. After all, you were a willing participant. You were a prodigy.
 
You still are, and as Archie starts to turn away from crime, you start to feel an odd sense of… belonging. As if all the weird things you did in the other houses were just ramps to what you like to call the highway of your life. You know it probably won’t be a very long one but you sure as hell know it’ll be a fast one. You really like fast.
 
You’re almost on your way now. You take a last look around the first room you ever had to yourself. It’s almost bare; a bed, a desk, a chair, a wardrobe. You never needed more than that and you didn’t take long to return it to the state you were given it in. No decorations to take down, just equipment to collect. You don’t get attached to things or places.
 
You don’t get attached to people, either. Archie was different, somehow. His wife and his children weren’t. They never really warmed up to you but you never let them get to know you. You felt right from the beginning that it was probably for the best.
 
You once had Archie tell you that you and he were “kindred spirits”. It took you a while to understand what a pickpocket and the greatest thief of all times had in common but you learned it, eventually. It’s one of the reasons why you decided to leave. It’s not good to have two of you in the same place for too long, not with normal people around.
 
You don’t sigh and you don’t regret, you just turn your back and walk out in the soft, catlike step Archie taught you. It’s dark outside and Archie and his family are sleeping. You consider leaving a note but for the life of you, you can’t come up with anything to put in it. Archie will know, and Archie’s family won’t mind you leaving. It’s just the way of things.
 
You’re almost out the door when you notice a little slip of paper stuck between the door and the door handle. You almost leave without even touching it but something makes you reach out for it. Carefully, you unfold it. It’s Archie’s grown-up, sophisticated scrawl that stares at you. Never jump without knowing who’s going to catch you. It makes you smile. He just knows you too well. Your smile vanishes.
 
You open the door and slip out, never looking back. You consider stealing the beautiful Porsche the family three houses down from Archie’s family owns but you don’t want to leave angry neighbors as a parting gift for Archie. You don’t want to leave any parting gifts at all. So you walk away, the first time knowing no one will catch you and put you in the system again. It has nothing to do with being too old for the system and everything with having learned never to let anyone pushing you around again. You’re grateful beyond measure for that.
 
You consider turning around again once, at the end of the road when a fork leaves you to decide between left and right but you don’t. Somehow you know you won’t like what you’re going to see. Whatever it is, it’ll make you consider going back and you can’t do that. Archie has a family and you don’t belong to it.
 
You don’t know if you’ll ever going to have your own family, if you’ll ever want to have your own family but you know one thing for sure. You won’t find it out if you stay with Archie.
 
So you need to be on your own again and that’s why you left. Without hesitation, you take the right turn and you’re free. It’s the most wonderful feeling in the world.

Date: 2011-11-30 11:35 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] hollow-echos.livejournal.com
What a stunning fic...heart breaking in a way, but so very true to Parker's character. I loved the tone in this piece and her voice really comes through. Really loved the highway analogy for her life, I could definitely see her thinking of it that way.

All in all, a top notch little fic. Thanks for sharing!

Date: 2011-12-01 08:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gelbes-gilatier.livejournal.com
Aw, thanks for your review! I feel very flattered by your praise *blushes It's nice to start a month of fic off with something as nice as your review ;)

Date: 2011-12-01 02:47 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] downbythebay-4.livejournal.com
Very beautiful. Oh Parker...

Date: 2011-12-01 09:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gelbes-gilatier.livejournal.com
Thanks for your review :)

Date: 2011-12-01 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] pingulotta.livejournal.com
Okay, let's try this again!

I love this. This is such a wonderful little story, such a piece of art, really!

I think I've never seen more than 2 or 3 half episodes of Leverage so I don't really have a clue about the context of this story or who Parker really is, but that *so* doesn't matter, because this story actually helped me to get to know Parker. Even if it's just for a few minutes. And it was done so wonderfully, such a powerful character study. I'm absolutely in love!

My favourite parts, by the way, are:
"You felt it, two weeks ago. You felt that it was time to leave again, just like you did all those times before. Sometimes you knew it was something you did or said, sometimes you didn’t know what it was and sometimes you wanted to leave so badly, you didn’t care what you had to do to get away the soonest you could."
~ Because I can relate to this so much, even if I seldom really run away. But the way you describe how things just come to an end... wonderfully put!

And:
"You consider stealing the beautiful Porsche the family three houses down from Archie’s family owns but you don’t want to leave angry neighbors as a parting gift for Archie."
~ Because it's just <3! =)

This was just *so* wonderful! :D

Date: 2011-12-01 10:45 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gelbes-gilatier.livejournal.com
Aw, you make me blush :D I'm so glad you like it, most of all since you're not really into the fandom. One of the biggest compliments is when somene not into the fandom actually likes it and can relate to it.

Date: 2011-12-01 10:04 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abvj.livejournal.com
This is so much better than I could have ever imagined. It so lovely and heartbreaking and so utterly Parker - which, I've found, is really hard to capture. I love this. Thank you SO much for writing it for me. It really is wonderful.

The last part is my favorite. It's almost lyrical.

Thank you so, so very much.

Date: 2011-12-01 10:50 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] gelbes-gilatier.livejournal.com
Aw, you're welcome :) You're prompt challenged me and I'm so, so glad you like it! I have to admit it I was a little anxious (because, you know, your fic is awesome) so aw, thank you :D

PS.: I'm a little bit in love with your icon.

Date: 2011-12-19 04:53 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] rodlox.livejournal.com
somehow, that closing line is very sad, kind of mournful.

> It’s not good to have two of you in the same place for too long, not with normal people around.
but it's good for you, Parker, and that's the important part.

(she sometimes forgets about having people catch her - like when she landed on Eliot "how'd you know I'd be there?" "i didn't")

the tale gives a greater role to Archie's family than I had thought they had - but I like this take.

I love this Parker!fic.

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